I had the privilege of getting a glimpse into the life of one the most beautiful women I have ever met. Her demeanour is composed and dialogue is witty. Her thoughts are profound. Her name is Gauri Sawant. Gauri is a transgender who is a counsellor and social activist. She started her own NGO called “Sakhi Char Chowghi” to support the transgender community. She is also a petitioner of the National Legal Services Authority (NALSA) judgement that was passed in 2013. She has been featured in the popular Vicks ad and has appeared in Kaun Banega Crorepati along with Amitabh Bachchan.
In this post, I would like to share excerpts from my conversation with Gauri which made me put pen to paper after many years.
The story of Gauri and her adopted daughter was featured in the Vicks ad. The first time I watched it, I was touched. I have ever since watched it many times over. Gauri shares a strong bond with her adopted daughter. The circumstances that led her to being a mother of Gayathri were unfortunate, but the outcome is surreal. The mother-daughter bond grew stronger as the days and years passed. She wants to become a lawyer to fight for the rights of her mother. “Motherhood is beyond gender, motherhood is a behaviour”, said Gauri. This thought had never occurred to me. She went on to talk about how she was being a mother to other transgenders, but at that time she was never accepted as a mother. She said, “You gave me the title of being a mother, only when I became a mother of a child like you, but I was always a mother. A mother is a person who can give unconditional love. This person can be a male, female or a transgender. “ Quite something to think about isn’t it?
Sexual orientation is not always a choice. As she narrated the transformation of Ganesh to Gauri, it struck me that as parents it is important to get educated about the LGBT community so that we are able to support our children, if need be. Gauri underwent sex transformation with the help of Humsafar Trust. “It was tough, but I enjoyed rediscovering myself”, she says.
Society needs more awareness about transgenders. Gauri highlighted the need for doctors to be more educated about transgenders. She said, “If I get a urinary tract infection most doctors would not know which catheter to use”. This is a reality of being a transgender.
One of the real-life stories that Gauri narrated was a visit to a brothel where a young lady was going about her business with a 3-month old baby lying beside her. Think about the environment in which the baby grows up. It’s sad but true. This was one of the incidents which touched Gauri so deeply and kindled the thought of building a home for children of sex workers and destitute transgenders. A home where the children will grow with love and care, a home where they will be nurtured, a home that will protect then from the cruel reality in which they are born.
Our families are our strongest link to the world. “I miss my family” she says. It’s hard to imagine how it would be for someone to lose their family and everything they call their own. That is the harsh reality that transgenders face. Turned away by their families, humiliated by the society, desperate to make ends meet they resort to begging and sex work. The key to reversing this as a society is to accept the third gender.
“Don’t ever let anyone hold the pencil while writing the story of your life”, this is a saying that comes to my mind as I relive the heart warming dialogue with Gauri.
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