The Third Dimension

 

Have you heard of the “Third Dimension”? 

I was introduced to this concept during a session with the renowned Bharatanatyam dancer Ms. Ananda Shankar. 

A Third Dimension is our calling. It is an activity or passion in which we can immerse ourselves. It is something in which we can lose ourselves while discovering ourselves…. It is our superpower and the secret sauce that makes each of us unique! It is also our alternate identity beyond our professional avatar. 

Head to this link and watch the Ted Talk by Vaishali Kasture, a well known runner where she speaks about the Third Dimension and the importance of discovering and nurturing it.

As young adults, most of us have multi-dimensional personalities which often become two-dimensional as age and responsibilities increase.  Like force-fitting a round peg in a square hole, our colourful multi-dimensional personalities are force-fitted into two-dimensional personalities focussed on work and family. There are of course  people who fuel their passions and keep it alive even as responsibilities increase. It is obviously not a walk in the park and requires grit, gumption, guts and discipline to keep the flame burning bright. 

One such person who immersed herself in her Third Dimension is Ms. Ananda Shankar. 

A renowned dancer, choreographer, scholar and bureaucrat, Ms. Shankar has several feathers in her cap including being the recipient of the Padma Shri award for her contribution to arts. Ms. Shankar was a dedicated student of dance at Kalakshetra and then went on to pursue her career as a bureaucrat in the Indian Railways. She was the first female officer in South Central Railways. Her passion and profession were like railway tracks parallel at times and merging at others. 

Her Ted Talk, “Fighting Cancer with Dance” is ranked among the top twelve Incredible Ted Talks on cancer. Ms. Shankar narrates her story of  how she navigated a harrowing phase when she was diagnosed with cancer. She used her Third Dimension as the guiding light that led her out of a tunnel where she was engulfed by the darkness of cancer. She danced with cancer, through cancer and out of cancer. Her fight against this deadly disease was a tough challenge that she navigated with dance.

The Third Dimension is a passion that can ignite the mind and relieve the monotony and stress of life. My Third Dimension is creating and experimenting with art, writing and photography. Over the past decade, a demanding job, motherhood and the ever increasing Bengaluru traffic left me with little time or mind space to pursue my passions. When the pandemic hit us, I embraced my Third Dimension to break the monotony of the stay-at-home life. During the pandemic I consciously carved out time to get my creative juices flowing again. I pampered myself with art supplies, experimented with new art forms and got my friends into painting as well! I began writing again, after almost a decade. I am co-authoring a children’s book along with my husband. Yes, it is our little family project! Just like you can’t forget swimming or cycling once you learn it, your Third Dimension internalizes itself within you. There are times when it is dormant, but the moment you ignite the flame it burns bright again! 

Our minds are strengthened by learning. In the recent past I have rekindled my passion for creation. I have embraced my Third Dimension and used it to navigate life’s rocky roads. Have you discovered your Third Dimension yet?

His Story, His Pride

 The saying goes that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  This is a tribute to a special person who came into my life for a reason and hopefully stays for a lifetime! 

The typical course for an individual chartered by society is to study, earn well and "settle down" - get married, have kids, raise kids and the story goes on. It is not easy to take a detour from this course and it takes a lot of courage to do so.  This post is about a dear friend - Anand, who has the courage to be true to himself. He has been my window into the queer world. Anand's life experiences have been challenging, but he has emerged stronger, taller and wiser from it. He has helped and continues to help so many people from the LGBTQ community.

It takes courage to be true, it takes courage to be you. Proud of you Anand!  

Growing up, my introduction to the LGBT community was when I saw transgenders at traffic signals and on trains. There was a sense of anxiety as they came close. As I grew up, my awareness increased and the anxiety turned into a desire to know more and to do my bit for the transgender community. 

Thanks to my workplace, my exposure to the LGBTQ+ expanded through various programs. I learnt about LQBTQ+ community and the importance of being an ally. It was at a session at work where I met Anand. My daughter, Disha was 2 years old then. I attended the session to learn about the LGBTQ+ community.  As a parent, I thought this was more important than ever before to increase my awareness of the LGBT community, to be able to support my child should she ever need help. Anand comes from a well read South Indian family. After his elder sister got married, the “line was cleared” for him to take the plunge. That was the time when he decided to come out to his closest quarters, his parents. He is blessed to have supportive parents. Over the years, he has come out to his extended family, friends and colleagues. While Anand is lucky to have parents who have accepted him, it hasn’t been an easy ride. 

The first thing that most members of the LGBTQ+ members lose when they come out is the support of their family. 

If coming out to oneself and understanding one’s body is difficult, coming out to parents and family can be an even tougher concoction of emotions - relief, pain, happiness, sadness and more. Anand’s story of coming  to his parents is heartwarming. Anand’s sister was getting married and his mom was very excited about shopping for her daughter’s wedding. As she bought jewellery for her daughter, she also brought jewellery for her daughter-in-law to be. As Anand saw all this unfold, he was cringing within feeling terrible about not opening up to his parents about a big part of himself. This was followed by a series of events including a wedding proposal and the untimely demise of a friend’s mom. His friend lost his mom and it plunged him into deep sorrow that he could not come out to his mom during her lifetime and this would be something that he would have to live with forever. All this and more made Anand muster the courage to come out to his parents. Even though he is blessed with open-minded parents, coming out from the closet was a rollercoaster ride and it took several months before it sunk in. If it is so tough for someone with family support, can only imagine the plight of others who have been shunned, ridiculed or not accepted by their families. Did you know this startling fact? 98% of transgenders are abandoned by their families. 

Anand was not sure how his parents would react but was relieved and deeply moved when he came out to his parents. As we take baby steps towards acceptance, understanding and liberating the LGBTQ+ community, it is important to know and understand the harsh expectations and societal pressures one deals with coming out to their family. Once this bridge is crossed, the same needs to be repeated every single time to come out to friends, family and colleagues.

While coming out to his parents, Anand’s dad said something that touched him deeply. His dad said that he wanted him to experience the beauty of love and falling in love, the blissful experience of parenting and the companionship of a partner in the twilight years of life. He was not sure how his son would get to experience these precious joys of life. These are realistic concerns that any parent may have. In the world we live in today, it not easy for a parent to accept that their child is an LGBT person.

In 2018, the Supreme Court of India delivered a verdict decriminalising homosexuality. This was a historical judgement and the LGBTQ+ community across the country erupted in joy. Finally, falling in love was not a punishable offence! The rainbow coloured world is vibrant. There is immense courage, brotherhood, support and love. The world now needs to be able to accept the colours and revel in its vibrance.